Tuesday, February 7, 2012
NOT PREGNANT
Its official I didn't get pregnant. I got those few unwanted words when trying to get pregnant, "NOT PREGNANT." How is it that you spend so long trying to not get pregnant, but when you want to it just doesn't work. I'm trying not to be upset, but I'm straight up pissed. We did everything right, and even with medical help it still didn't happen. There is a part of me that feels like God is punishing me for something I must have done wrong. I know that this isn’t the case, but it still feels that way. I’m a horrible looser and I feel like I lost. I feel like my body has deceived me and is crapping out. It’s now time to pick up the pieces and move on. I’m waiting to see what my doctor has in store. There is a part of me that thinks he is going to try and push IUI, which if that is the case then I guess we officially lost the race, and are throwing in the towel. I’m letting myself be upset now because when Reagan wakes up I’m going to make this a wonderful day with her and I’m going to enjoy it to the fullest. I’m not going to let this bump in the road destroy my whole day. Well, my miracle baby is awake. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Candice~
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful beautiful woman!!! It is so hard to trust God and know that what He has planned is better than what we have planned, but it is. Sometimes the timing is just not right, and when it is, God will make it happen! (It took us about 1.5 yrs of trying to have Chloe, and looking back, if we would have had her when WE wanted to, it wouldn't have been good, we were still traveling in the 5th wheel, then Greg got laid off, but when we moved to Maine, it was instant! We were where we were supposed to be, and it was the right timing.) I will continue to pray that God's will reigns in your life! And that you lean towards Him and trust Him in this time.
You are a beautiful person and everything will happen the way it is supposed to. Keep blogging, talking about it and loving reagan and everything will look brighter soon. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteOh Candice, this made me cry. Big hugs. Please know we are continuing to uphold you and your family in prayer. Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." This has always been "my" special text through all my troubles but now it's for you too. I hope the link below works, please watch it - it's for you.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/un19TDUy3u0
Oh, dear ones! Had the best visit on phone with you! I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. You inspire me with your openness! Father, will you sidle up close and personal to your precious Candice.
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