As I sit here and write this posting about Reagan I can’t help but get emotional. I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. I feel like I went to sleep one night and when I work up the year had passed. I try and hold onto every last moment, every smell, every possible memory that I can. I don’t ever want to forget a thing. This year has been such a blessing. Jake and I have welcomed a healthy happy child into the world, and grew even closer as a couple. It has been a great year, and we have learned so much.
I remember the day that Reagan was born as if it were yesterday; waking up at 6am, lying in bed trying to get Reagan to kick or move. She didn’t move. I figured that if I had a caffeinated beverage it may get her moving as I had not drunk coffee, or any other caffeinated drinks, during my pregnancy. During the weeks leading up to her birth I began drinking the occasional cup of coffee because it would get her moving and ease my nerves. When Jake awoke I was watching TV. I told him that if she didn’t start moving soon I was going to call the labor and delivery. He didn’t think much of this considering we had visited L&D virtually everyday since arriving at Lakenheath. We took our time getting up. We watched some Rescue Me, ate breakfast and showered. I made sure to shave, because you never know if you might go into labor, and I straightened my hair. I called labor and delivery just after lunch to let them know what was going on. Once again, they told me to come in for a check-up. I figured that this day would be like any other, but it wasn’t. It was the day we would start the path of welcoming our daughter into the world.
I could not wait to meet Reagan. I had loved her from the moment I found out I was pregnant. When I saw the little screen that said “Pregnant” on the test I was already in love with the little baby in my belly. It was not fast getting pregnant with Reagan, but I believe the best things are worth waiting for. She was definitely worth the wait. It is amazing how someone so small changes your world so much. The moment she was born Jake and I both knew things would never be the same. She became the center of our little world; she was everything we had ever hoped for and more. Those blue eyes, brown hair and pink skin changed out life forever. When we became parents we readjusted our priorities because life was no longer about us. Once you become a parent you strive to be the best parent you can possibly be for your child. You lose the selfishness that you had before because you realize that it’s not about you all the time now. You have a stronger bond with your spouse then ever before and love harder then you ever knew you could. I never knew how the love for a child grows stronger with each passing day until I became a parent.
Now that I have become a Mom I can understand how my parents felt. I appreciate them more because I can see how they sacrificed for me. I can see the great things that my parents did for me and appreciate it to a greater level. The love that I had for Jake has grown to a level that I never knew was possible. I had loved Jake long before I ever really knew him, but the moment I saw him hold our daughter I felt my heart jump to new heights. He is the most amazing husband and father. He is patient, kind, loving, understanding, sincere, encouraging, and he is my best friend. How did I get so lucky? I sometimes think he is a better parent then I am because he is so great with Reagan. I have never seen him get frustrated or lose his cool with her. He is just the best Dad that any kid could ask for. Thank you Jake, for not only choosing to share your life with me, but for giving me such an amazing daughter.
This first year has been such a learning lesson. Reagan may have grown up and changed each day, but she has also taught me so much. I have learned to just roll with the punches. Thing don’t always have to be perfect and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I have learned that you can’t worry about everything, but just trust God. The moment Reagan was born all my plans of how I was going to do things took a back seat. I think having a child is all about learning. Until I became a parent I never knew that what worked for one person in a book might not work for your baby. I was so scared when Reagan was born. I wanted her so bad that I was scared something would happen and she would be taken from me. I would not sleep because I didn’t want something to happen to her while I was sleeping. This is when I got post partum depression, but I also learned that you just have to trust God. I feel so proud of Jake and me because we have accomplished a major milestone. We were actually able to take care of another living, breathing human being. She has grown from a small baby, which wanted nothing more than to nurse 24 hours a day, to an independent little girl. She is walking all over the place, sleeping in her own bed through the night, drinking from a cup, feeding herself, trying to say new words, she can understand what we say, gives kisses, waves bye-bye, waves hello and laughs when we laugh at things. She would not be my daughter without having some sort of temper. I know she has embarked on toddler-hood because she now gets frustrated when you don’t know what she is pointing at and what she wants. She is an amazingly strong independent little girl. I’m so proud of her and look forward to watching the person she will become. It amazes me that just a year ago our life was about tight swaddles, feeding her round the clock, blow-out poopie diapers, spit-up, getting enough tummy time and trying to take care of yourself at the same time. I feel proud of myself because I have nursed her for a whole year. I’m now just trying to cut her off, but that is a hard transition for the both of us. I’m sad to say good bye, but excited for the next stage. You can’t live in the past. I look forward to what lies ahead with a toddler. I want to thank our family and friends for all your love and support over the last year. Thank you to my wonderful husband for not only being such a great Dad, but being a great husband.
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